richwhitelesbian:

teapayne:

One time when I was 7 i went to this big department store and there was giant rugs hanging from the celling and you could move them to see more rugs, so i moved one and there was an employee sitting behind it eating a bag of Doritos and I screamed and started crying and the store gave us a free rug

i got fired because of you

(via messybuns-ukulele-food)

  • nobody ever: you're cute and I want to date you